My reasons behind this post is to remind others that this is a selfish act. Believe me, when I say that NO ONE truly feels the way your thoughts are making you feel. So let's break this down into little steps of understanding!
First - they are just thoughts. I have heard them. I know they sound real. They aren't! They are just a group of fleeting imagined ideas that we have conjured up about ourself because it wasn't about us so we are going to make it ALL ABOUT ME. It starts off small - no one likes me and grows into the favorite line - I am no good to anyone and they would be better off without me. If I had a nickel for everytime I told myself that lie...I would be a millionaire.
Second - stop believing these lies you are telling yourself. I know easier said than done! I have fought with these lies for over thirty years. Yes through grade school, even at home, even going to church and becoming a Christian.these thoughts stayed with me and followed me around like a shadow until I was set free with the realization that they are just that...THOUGHTS. And like the saying goes...thoughts can become ours actions.when we choose to focus and believe them over what is REAL. How do you find out the truth? ASK! Don't keep these lies bottled up inside! I am guilty of this! I would lock myself away in my room and cry about what I felt was wrong...WHY ME. Everyone would be better off without me. I am good for nothing, ugly, fat, stupid,etc. etc.
Third - there is no strength in keeping it to yourself. Where would we be if God had kept Jesus and his story to himself? Exactly! God shared His story with us so that we could draw in His strength. In their greatest times of need, prophets and apostles alike were asking others for prayer! They never went into BATTLES without God by their side in some form...prayer, burning bush, rainbow, etc. God is always by our side but we have to open our eyes and ears to Him.
Fourth - the battle never ends. The enemy wants us to think that it can be silenced with medication, alcohol, drugs, or even worse. Choosing to end the silence forever through whatever means is not the answer and only creates more questions. I have stood on the edge and thought that it would be easier for everyone if I wasn't around. And then God reminds me of each life I have touched in some form or fashion. "Pick up my cross and follow me," He whispers.
Fifth - remember you are not alone no matter how lonely you think you are. I am guilty of making my loneliness a prison because I don't think I offer anything that anyone needs or can be used. Then I realize this is how I treat God. I only need Him when I am hurting and sad...what about the other 300 days of the year? As I told a friend tonight - God brings storms like this into my life to remind me that I have a purpose. To share what He has done for me.
This is just a little part of His goodness and grace. Please pray for this family during their loss. Please lift up others who you have seen small signs from. Also pray that God will open the eyes and ears of those who need Him. Continue to remember those who give their lives in sacrifice for our freedoms - not just our military but missionaries as well!
With much LOVE in Christ!