The Beginning

Starting doing beading in @1995 after getting alcohol poisoning while out partying with friends. It is a talent that God gave me to keep me from trying to kill myself (literally through binge drinking and then driving while drunk) From broken to Reborn, from lost to Found, God gave me this talent to make jewelry and I didn't realize how relevant it was to my life until I was listening to the radio praising God and this song came on (of course I forgot the name and such) but it talked about taking the old and making it new again. God did that with me as I do that with my jewelry! I love taking old broken pieces and recreating something new and exciting. If the necklace doesn't have earrings with it, I can make some to go with it. Romans 7:24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of death. vs 25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. It only through Jesus can we be truly changed, He alone has all power to deliver us from the bondage of sin and give us new life.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Thankful Tuesday

This is a product of the Color Challenge group on Facebook.  You get to create a piece of art using a color scheme that is voted on. This color scheme was of purples and greens. My goal is to complete these weekly challenges for the rest of the year.  I have saved the color schemes from past weeks and from Design Seeds that I hope to use in the spare time!

I am thankful that I am able to sit and work on designs.  I am thankful that God gives me the ability to do this.  I am thankful for my friends for critic my work to help me learn better ways to succeed.

I am thankful to God for His Truth, Love, Faith, Grace, Mercy and FORGIVENESS!  I pray that you find His Grace and Mercy.  He doesn't ask that you are perfect or even attempt to be perfect because as our Father knows that we as humans are not perfect and will/do fail daily no matter how hard we try.  That is what is so great about God!  He LOVES us so much that HE SENT HIS SON TO TAKE OUR SIN - every ugliness we have ever committed, thought, said, EVERY SINGLE SIN from the day we reach the age of accountability to the day of our last breath. How amazing is that!  No friend or family member could have paid that price, we can't pay that price.  Why because of the SINS we already carry.  We like to think we are super human and can save our friends and family from all the heartaches and pains that they experience but we can not.  We end up failing them as well as ourselves.  Don't miss another day with less pain, less heartache, less stress!  God will take it all if you will let go - give up control!  

Make It Monday

Missed my posting for yesterday!  I was mentally and emotionally preoccupied.  God got me back on track!  i am second and God is my pilot!  He>i! 

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Words of Wisdom Wednesday

I wasn't sure what I wanted to post about for today and then it hit me like a ton of bricks!  i am second!  Please read the post about it!

About I am Second - I am Second

About I am Second - I am Second

This is something that should be shared with everyone!  

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

In a dream....

While laying in bed last night, I decided to take a quick stroll on Facebook. I know, I thought the same thing.  Another hour of reading and maybe I will be ready to pull my covers up to my chin and snooze.  I didn't even make it FIVE MINUTES on Facebook before a posted card knocked me to the floor as if I had run full on into a telephone pole while texting. Not that I have actually performed said feat, that was just how this post made me feel.

What was the post you ask?  A new friend who I only met through one.....yada yada yada.  Anywho, Shailesh post this graphic .......
Well no wonder I am wide awake at 1:17 am ( the time of writing this sentence  - LOL). Someone is dreaming about me? Really?  I never thought about it like that.  I wonder....NAH...I am out of George Clooney's league...hahaha.  But seriously, I could help but think of who it might be or could be.

The thought hit me like a barrel of bricks being dropped out of a second story window.  Really? I questioned God.  Ok...time for a re-cap.  Last Thursday, I met a nice guy off an online date site.  For the purpose to protect identities of the innocent, I am not posting the web site's link or his real name.  Ok back to the story, that night, we met and watched a movie.  He was a gentleman and didn't give me reason to raise a red flag.  We had an instant sexual attraction.  It was like we had been friends for so long and it was time to move to the next level.  Yes you guessed it, that level would be sex.  I know, CALM DOWN AND FINISH READING!  I had already put my foot down about sex and where it belonged - IN THE MARRIAGE and NOT BEFORE.  He said ok but one could tell that he wasn't going to stick to that program. (Oh she doesn't mean it, let her think she has the upper hand, and a little alcohol later, she won't be able to keep her hands off me).  Little did he know how stubborn and mule-headed I had become since my divorce.  The number one issue was I HAD REDEDICATED MY LIFE TO GOD!  I was not about to throw away the TRUE LOVE I had longed to find.  I had spent 16 years enslaved by alcohol and sex.  To me sex equaled love.  And boy did I find "love" in so many WRONG places!  Scary fact by the time I was 32, I had slept with over 100 guys and that was just the ones I could remember.  Right there is proof in my life that God was watching over me.  So many things could have gone wrong, and I THANK GOD nothing did, EACH TIME I THINK ABOUT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE.  

Ok, back to new guy who we are going to call Peter.  Peter tried and would have succeeded with the old me.  New Me was determined not to cross that line as long as She was in control of her body (no drugs, alcohol, etc).  And New Me was able to get things back to a controlled nature.  New Me would be lying if she said she felt nothing.  She felt fireworks, the earth move, etc but SHE KNEW THE PAIN SHE WOULD FEEL IF SHE FELL TO THIS DESIRE.  The pain of letting down her Heavenly Father with who she had just begun to re-kindle their relationship. It took me back to the pain of each time before when sex had brought me nothing but heart ache and pain.  I couldn't live that way AGAIN - so the New Me prayed for forgiveness and picked herself up and dusted off.  OH NO, LOOK OUT - here comes a MELTDOWN! Yes you guessed it! FEARs were developing.  How do I tell him that I still like him but we went too far?  He is going to get mad and never want to speak to me again.  I can't lose a friend, someone to talk to, someone who made me feel alive just by talking to me.  I just couldn't go through the hurt again.  FATHER GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!  Calm down, SHARON!  OK - BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT!  You have to find your voice and tell him the TRUTH!  Tell him WHAT? He will laugh at me even more because He already thinks I am 19 because of the no sex until married limit!  He thinks that I am a joke because it is obvious that I want the release as much as he does if not more but I see the risk I am taking and where it will put me, mentally, emotionally, and physically.  I can't risk it, it is too high a price!  NO it isn't the PRICE Jesus paid for my SINS but it would make it all fruitless words.  I AM NOT JUST PROVIDING A LIP SERVICE TO GOD!  HE is my ALL in ALL!  My life is not my own!  So Friday, I can't come over and watch movies because.......Mom and Dad were not doing good and I had to make sure they were ok.  Sure that's about as lame as I have to wash my hair.  So I went and talked to MOM.  She was like I understand and it can't be all about SEX, You have been down that road before.  That night Mom and Dad had decided to go to Texas to deliver puppies to my cousin since they were getting to be handfuls.  Dad asked if I would like to go.  Let me see....Stay home alone and be tempted to go see Peter or go with Mom and not have to worry with coming up with an excuse not to see him.  Yeah that worked like a lead balloon.  It went no where but straight down!  So I spent the day talking to Mom and playing with the puppies until we got to my Aunt's and then I played on my iPad and some more with the puppies until my cousin came home from work.  At this time, we loaded up and went to dinner.  I had been thinking about Peter all day long.  I hoped he was ok and wasn't upset with me.  I finally got the courage to text him this WAR & PEACE book of a message that went along the lines of I am happy with  my relationship with God.  It is growing daily as I depend on HIM.  I almost messed it up when WE went further than we should have during the introduction phase.  "Can WE make this work by not tempting each other - therefore by not being alone with each other, no more than kissing above the neck and hugging, no more wandering hands above or under clothes?"  "You want me as much as I want you"  "Yes but you aren't listening!  I WILL NOT, CANNOT, SHALL NOT GO BACK TO WHO I WAS!"  I am not longer that person, she was a mask to only show what I wanted people to see.  She was who I thought I was but God has shown me the REAL ME and I like the REAL ME!  This battle of I want you and you want me, no matter what the words are coming out of your mouth, YOUR BODY IS BETRAYING YOU!  DEEP BREATHE, quick pray - HELP ME! 

Peter called - quick what do I do - ANSWER THE PHONE!  Are you serious, God?  REALLY?  Ok....I get an earful of you can't say your a Christian and not feel what you feel, because it is a sin and because of the differences in our religions - WHOA, HOLD UP, Let's back this whole train up!  Don't call me and start trying to play Holy better than thou because it isn't going to work!  No matter what RELIGION!  We are all on the same field - LOOKING FOR GOD'S LOVE, APPROVAL, ACCEPTANCE of who we really are.  RELIGION has nothing to do with any of that. As a matter of fact, I think RELIGION makes it difficult.  STRIP it down to the bare bones!  #1 - Do you believe in God, the FATHER, the SON, and the HOLY SPIRIT?  Check!  #2 - Do you believe God sent HIS ONLY SON to DIE for OUR SINS? Check! #3- Do you know that God is the ONLY answer to a FREE life no matter what your bondage is?  CHECK!  Then what is the BIG DEAL with all these other restrictions that SOME MAN said YOU had to BELIEVE in and FOLLOW or GOD was THROUGH with you?  REALLY!?!?   I DON'T THINK SO!  God is not into fancy schmancy rules that keep YOU HOOPING THROUGH RINGS OF FIRE in order to LOVE HIM. "He just wants your extra time and your......LOVE" (I know that isn't the word that goes there but it now).  

Peter tried to get me to see that my way of thinking was wrong and that you could become a CHRISTIAN by asking Christ into your life but until you are BAPTIZED "in the blood", you are DOOMED AND GOING TO HELL! So why bother with limits and boundaries and such?  You are not better than PAUL, or PETER, and since JESUS died, unless you are re-baptized, you are SOL.  I don't know about you but that isn't the GOOD NEWS I learned about.  God is HELL FIRE and BRIM STONE but God is also LOVE, PEACE, JOY, STRENGTH, COURAGE, MERCY, RIGHTEOUSNESS!  That is why I smile even when my heart is breaking.  That is why I can sit here and write on this blog exactly what I feel and what is going on in my life.  IT IS BECAUSE OF GOD and HIS AMAZING LOVE for me.  I am nothing with HIM! 

So the limits and boundaries - YES- they immediately went up on my dating profile.  Do I care if it causes people to pass me by, no not really, because I am standing up for what I believe.  I am being honest with myself as well as with others.  THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!  Yes I am still attracted to Peter.  No I haven't been over to see him since I have been back from Texas.  WHY - the lack of respect and the power of temptation - I know that I am not strong enough to face it alone.  Yes GOD IS WITH ME but if you walk into the lion's den intentionally, you are going to get hurt. Maybe not as much as if God wasn't on your side but it will still hurt!  If you are thrown to the lion's by the ADVERSARY, God will protect you.

So walk on, my child, walk on!  I pray that you find some wisdom in my my stories to help you see through your storms.  I am still in the middle of a storm and the water is getting choppy again.  FATHER  I NEED YOU NOW!

i am second
Love you more than you will ever know!

Thankful Tuesday

I saw this and it just spoke worlds of wonder and amazement to my heart.  It is simple yet effective! I pray that God relieves any FEARs you have about what ever trial you are facing today!  Worry and Stress steal our time, our energy, and our love that God deserves and longs to receive.  I know with all my heart and without a doubt that God will and can move mountains for His children when He is taken out of the box WE keep Him in until we need HIM!  Don't use God only in emergencies! Take hold of His Hand and Walk with Him DAILY, HOURLY, MINUTE BY MINUTE!

i am second

Monday, January 14, 2013

I Love You!

Make It Monday

Good morning, friends, family, and anyone who is just joining!  This blog has seen better days.  I have neglected it long enough.  Today I saw a post on Facebook that opened my eyes and my heart back to why God put me on this 3rd rock from the Sun.  To share my love with others.  To be a better part to their lives. To make a difference, no matter how small!

Today is the day for change!  (Of course, I would be fighting some bug). Today is the chance to wipe your slate clean and begin refreshed.  God has taken care of your sins and washed you in His blood!  He is the reason behind the rebirth!  God is simply amazing!  You don't have to have a PhD in Physics (paging Dr. Cooper, Dr. Sheldon Cooper).  You just have to have FAITH and believe!  Believe that it is possible for someone to exists that LOVES you so much that He sent HIS ONLY SON to DIE for our SINS (you, me, your parents, your uncle's cousin's aunt's son's brother's daughter (not sure how they are related to you?), your neighbor, the person standing behind you at Wal-Mart) so that WE can have EVERLASTING LIFE!  I know, RIGHT!  Are you speechless?  I was the first time I heard that.  Why?  Because I didn't think anyone, not even my parents, LOVED me.  I thought I was unlovable, useless, good for nothing, NOBODY.  Boy, I didn't know how wrong I was!  And I am so glad too!

I spent my elementary, primary, junior high and high school days like so many have and still do.  BELIEVING that I was WORTHLESS!  I didn't figure out how wrong I was until it was too late.  These days have come and gone, I can't get back the time I lost worrying about how little I thought I mattered.  When in reality, I mattered more than I ever knew!  Because of me, things have changed.  Not just in school but in my life, in other's lives.  AMAZING!

Since today and every Monday until God changes the direction of my life AGAIN (He is always moving me around and pointing me in different directions),  it will be known as Make It Monday.  It could be a craft, or it could be something personal, like making a change.

For this week, I invite you to step forward and make a change.  Ask God to come into your life.  I see the fear on your face.  If I make that change, what is going to happen to me?  You will see that it no longer becomes what about me, it becomes what about someone else.  It becomes how do I make a difference.  Remember you have to take little steps,  God will help you change more as time goes by. He knows we aren't perfect.  He just wants our love.

I challenge you to become second and check out  Take the 22 day challenge.  Start reading the Bible through with a daily reading plan.  Today, MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN!