It has been long time coming for my guilt and shame to catch up with me. I know you are thinking what guilt and shame should a Christian have. Anytime a Christian falls away from God, we end up with guilt and shame because we have thrown away a most precious gift for something we though was more shiny, was better, was what we needed at that moment. I had fallen away from God and was becoming what can be identified as a stinky Christian. Yes I was still a child of God but I wasn't living like it. My light wasn't shining for Him. I had turned dark and ugly. Worse yet, I COULD BEGIN TO SMELL MYSELF. I knew what I was doing was against God and that it would only result in more heartache and pain than mercy, grace and joy.
No being a Christian isn't about being smiling and happy all the time. It is about being to able to understand that even though I am down, I am not out. God has created me and through HIS grace and mercy, I can have joy through the storm.
Oh...boy....I have been spending the last month dwelling on WHY ME...even through my compassion for those in need, I was still only thinking about myself. I even spent last night hurt because all I could think about was myself.
I know God has blessed me with so much and I have that to share with the world. I know what my problem is...I am holding on to my Styrofoam cup, longing for the world to fill me up.....I know God created me - not just a masterpiece but a piece of the Master! I know He had my life planned out before He created me. I am trying to be that light He wants me to be.
I am still listening for His still small voice.....riding in my storm....
Starting doing beading in @1995 after getting alcohol poisoning while out partying with friends. It is a talent that God gave me to keep me from trying to kill myself (literally through binge drinking and then driving while drunk) From broken to Reborn, from lost to Found, God gave me this talent to make jewelry and I didn't realize how relevant it was to my life until I was listening to the radio praising God and this song came on (of course I forgot the name and such) but it talked about taking the old and making it new again. God did that with me as I do that with my jewelry! I love taking old broken pieces and recreating something new and exciting. If the necklace doesn't have earrings with it, I can make some to go with it. Romans 7:24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of death. vs 25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. It only through Jesus can we be truly changed, He alone has all power to deliver us from the bondage of sin and give us new life.